Kitten Adoption Day
July 1, 2028
I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold. And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker. What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man? Homer no function beer well without.